1942: Joint Strike
When man first looked to the sky and dreamt of taking flight, of soaring amongst the birds and clouds, he probably could not have imagined anything like what we have today. He certainly didn’t imagine the world of 1942: Joint Strike. Set during World War II, the allied forces (I think) have been reduced to two mere planes, while the Axis forces (maybe, there really aren’t any indications to suggest who you’re fighting for) are so numerous they seem like a mix of the Red Army, the Luftwaffe, Darth Vader’s Empire and God.
Based on the 80s Capcom arcade classic 1942, 1942: Joint Strike involves pretty much the same old-school gameplay. Playing from a top-down view that seems rather counter-intuitive to flight, you are charged with slaughtering as many evildoers as possible. Predictably, at the end of each level, a huge boss arrives in the shape of a plane, tank, battleship, or reincarnated bastard of aforementioned tank, etc. After two hours of sustained fire, these behemoths will finally decide to die. Joy.
You can get weapon upgrades, but since you lose them every time you die, i.e. every 20 seconds, they’re about as useful as a surgeon with Hemaphobia. On the plus side, the game has fancy new 3D visuals, and a score so epic that you’d be forgiven for mistaking 1942: Joint Strike for a Michael Bay film. Yet this doesn’t make up for the fact it has the same dull, repetitive gameplay and outdated mechanics. Just because you’ve covered your Gran in Revlon and Max Factor doesn’t hide the fact that she’s still your Gran and your mates are not going to fancy her. Sure, you might like this if you enjoy insipidly repetitive gameplay and have a fetish for the eighties, but in that case you’re probably not on Xbox live yet because you’re too excited about your new Betamax player.